Published March 3, 2005
http://www.freep.com/news/cfp/5/rmentor3r_20050303.htm
 

Mentoring Makes The Difference

By Clare Pfeiffer Ramsey
Free Press Special Writer

Until he met Jerry Henry, Redric Hartfield hadn't tasted oysters, let alone learned how to do push-ups like a Marine or bowl a strike.

But over the past four years, Henry, 59, of Grosse Pointe Farms and Hartfield, 17, of Detroit have learned a lot of new things together.

Hartfield, a senior at Trinity Catholic High School in Harper Woods, met Henry through Student Mentor Partners, a Harper Woods-based nonprofit group that provides tuition assistance for at-risk metro Detroit students to attend private schools and then pairs the students with adult mentors.

Hartfield nominated Henry for the group's mentor of the year award this year -- and Henry won. At the banquet in January, where he accepted the award, Henry told the crowd that Hartfield deserves to be mentee of the year, if there were such a thing.

Toinette Pilgrim, executive director of the program, said it is obvious Hartfield and Henry have become like family.

"He's like a teacher, like a dad," Hartfield said of Henry, a veteran who served with the Marines in Vietnam. "He's been a great mentor and a great friend."

The two have gone to Pistons games, high school football games, baseball games, food-tasting festivals and auto shows. They've bowled and gone swimming, roller-skating and sledding, and even sung karaoke and climbed indoor rock walls.

"Redric is a guy who will try anything," said Henry, who owns Automotive Careers, a headhunting business. "The more I got to know Redric, the more I wanted to do with him. We just grew together.

"I've just tried to introduce him to things he hadn't experienced. What do I call it?" Henry asked Hartfield.

"Broadening my horizons," the teen answered. "That's what he calls it."

Hartfield is a young man of few words, but Henry said Hartfield used to be a boy of even fewer words.

"Four years ago, if we'd had this conversation, you wouldn't have gotten four words out of him," Henry said last week when the two sat down over burgers and sandwiches at National Coney Island in St. Clair Shores. "But he's really opened up."

Last year, Hartfield was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, a mild form of autism that frequently goes misdiagnosed or undiagnosed because people who have it can function so well. People with Asperger's generally have trouble with social skills but can do very well academically.

Hartfield's mother, Cherrye Hartfield, said she always knew her son was different and had trouble making friends, but he otherwise gave her few clues to his Asperger's. He was bright and did well in school, sometimes making the honor roll and having no problems learning in a mainstream classroom.

When her son was in eighth grade, however, Cherrye Hartfield started to worry about what would happen to him in high school. She worried about kids teasing him and was concerned that he would get lost in the crowd. She couldn't afford private school tuition, so a counselor suggested the Student Mentor Partners program.

Hartfield was thrilled to get her son into Trinity, but she was concerned about the mentor. A single mother with no extended family to support her, Cherrye Hartfield said she's very protective of her son. So she worried about getting Redric attached to someone who wouldn't stick around.

Henry "could have walked away," Cherrye Hartfield said. "He could have seen a child that was more of a challenge, and he could have walked away."

But Henry stayed, and he soon earned her trust.

"Jerry was confident in him. He never doubted him from the start," she said. "Redric never had anyone who wanted to stick with him. But Jerry hung in there. He's my angel."

With Henry's encouragement, Hartfield, who'd never competed on a sports team before, joined Trinity's track team this year. Henry said he has tried to not push the teen too hard. "I just want him to do the best he can do."

If Henry is pushy, his mentee doesn't seem to mind. "It's only because he cares and he wants to help," Hartfield said.

For Henry, watching the teen communicate more, try new things and experience life's little victories has been an amazing experience. Henry's sons are now grown and on their own: One is a doctor, the other, a state trooper. Mentoring Hartfield has let Henry continue the teaching, coaching and fathering role he's always loved.

"The first time we went bowling and he got his first strike, I thought he was going to tear the place down," Henry said. "He was so excited. He was dancing."

Hartfield and Henry said their friendship will not fade when the program ends this spring and Hartfield accepts his high school diploma. The teen, who has earned a 3.0 grade point average, would like to attend a vocational school or community college. Henry said he plans to be right behind him the whole way.

Cherrye Hartfield said she couldn't imagine where she and her son would be without Henry and his support system. She remembers crying when Henry spoke at the banquet.

"I was just so touched," she said. "This man stood up there and told a whole group of people that my son was somebody special and somebody worthy."

Copyright © 2005 Detroit Free Press Inc.